The Top Twenty -two Reasons Why I'm Glad That My Riding Mower Broke

Yes, it happened again for the 10th spring in a row: my riding mower doesn't work. So....I grabbed the new push mower; mowed our back yard and the entire back of the local dentist's yard and I feel great. And here's "The Top 22 Reasons Why I'm Glad That My Riding Mower Broke:
#22. This change in attitude is just one more positive side-effect of my medication.
#21. Read somewhere that strenuous exercise and breathing in dandelion fuzzies makes your beard grow faster.
#20. Getting in shape for Australia!
#19. Afterwards, can work on conquering the constant temptation to steal my mom's wheelchair when she is asleep.
#18. No longer have to worry about both back tires being equally inflated.
#17. No longer have to slow down for animals and small children, they can all outrun me now.
#16. No longer have to use a trim mower to mow the trim - its all trim.
#15. No longer have to move the trash barrel to mow around it.
#14. Gives Charlotte one more reason to tell her friends, "What dad, mine is still missing in action from the Civil War."
#13. Don't have to get off the mower to keep from flinging little metal cars like shrapnel.
#12. Working on a one-pack ab.
#11. Can legitimately take water breaks.
#10. With that little gas tank you can fill it up more often and smell that really cool, sweet smell of refined hydrocarbons.
#9. Ah, to be in the great outdoors....much longer.
#8. When you are just 1/4 of the way done you can look back on what you have accomplished with great satisfaction.
#7. Haven't felt that kind of burn since I was 19.
#6. No longer have to worry about annoying neighbors asking to borrow your mower.
#5. Gives my students just one more reason to turn to cousin Bubby and say, "Yip, that's my history teacher!"
#4. I can really lay a guilt trip on Noah by saying, "That's ok, I'll just do it myself."
#3. Noah can tell his kids someday, "Yes, children when I was 14 we didn't have a riding mower."
#2. I can tell my grandkids, "Yes, grandchildren when I was 52, we didn't have a riding mower."
#1. I can add "Precision Mowing" to my resume.

Should I Be Worried If My Electrician Doesn't Have A College Degree?

I smelled an unusual odor in the house the other day; not from the dog or the cat or the nasty carpet we have in the kitchen that is the only place in the house that the "5-second rule" on dropped food is not followed. It smelled "electrical". So, with as much confidence that two college degrees in history and secondary education can give, I went into the basement (no "5-second rule" here either) and approached the gray "service panel"; I think that's what they call it. Anyway, there I located the source of the odor - and, there was a sizzling sound as well. I went back upstairs and while eating my breakfast it dawned on me that sizzling and smell could indicate a problem that would not necessarily go away if I ignored it and could lead to consequences that could be catastrophic. I remembered that my neighbor is an electrician and he actually told me once that if I needed anything of that sort to not hesitate to call. I wondered briefly if anything in that sentence excluded a call at 6:15 AM and I couldn't recall anything - nope, it was a blanket anytime promise - ironclad like in the old days when a man's word was his bond. Well, to make a long post short, I called him; he came over; identified the problem; tightened some screws that had previously been attached to a metal piece that was glowing red with heat and said he would check back in a couple of days to be sure that it hadn't worked its way loose again. The charge - nothing! Just the neighborly thing to do. Dodged a bullet. It is one of the singularly great moments in life to have the rest of your day made by 6:45 AM. How often does that happen? Then I began to feel bad. What could I do to reciprocate? Would one of his boys someday need a little bit of help, let's say, with the Civil War? Or, maybe I could rescue his family from a complete misunderstanding of the Founding of our country for which he would say, "I hoped that someday coming over and keeping your house from burning down and saving you hundreds of dollars not having to call an electrician would come in handy!" After all, what's having your house burn down compared to being confused about the development of U.S. foreign policy or the Three Branches of Government. In his defense, before he left he tried to make me feel better by saying that it was a good thing that he came over because he has a box just like mine and he had better check his to make sure it was all tightened down and secure...nice try. From time to time the rest of the day, I reflected on the value of two college degrees in preventing home maintenance disasters and it occurred to me that he was able to save me and my family with two less college degrees than I have and what a wonderful country it is. I also began to think about the modern trend of professionalizing everything to the point that it doesn't seem to matter what one can do but how many certificates and degrees one has. I wondered if they would ever get to the point of requiring electricians to have a bachelor's degree in order to get a certificate and take a long test that would cost $500. What kind of courses might they require in order to fill out 4 years and collect $150 per credit hour? Being an educator, I am justifiably interested in being very sure that even electricians are properly educated with the breadth and depth necessary to compete in the global economy. So, just for fun (I hope) I came up with a few courses to broaden the knowledge base of my electrician-neighbor beyond merely being able to fix my electrical problem...

The Theology of Natural Occurring Electrical Phenomenon

The History of Man's Relationship to Electricity - Beyond
Franklin and "The Kite"

Electrical Preparedness (in this course another electrician
will check to be sure that you have all the proper tools and
you will be trained to spot any deficiencies in the toolboxes
of your colleagues.) Course required but not for credit.

How to Handle the Difficult Customer (This course includes
very practical procedures to follow in the event of dog or
cat annoyance - taught by a faculty member who has read
and studied a great deal about dogs and cats and has worked
out 135 steps to follow with handy pocket-size fold-out guide to
carry with you anywhere.)

Gender and Race Issues in the Electrical Profession - How far
we have come yet how far we have to go!

Being a Green Electrician - includes a lab

The Affective Electrician - Students will discuss thoroughly
the characteristics of the "perfect electrician" - a very popular
course.

Cross-cultural Electrical Careers - Breaking the Barriers of
Being Simply a Western Electrician

Theoretical Similarities Among the Trades - course experience
will allow electricians, plumbers, mechanics, carpenters, and roofers
to share about one another's careers for a few hours and develop
empathetic responses to the travails of other tradeswomen (or
men).

Appreciation for the Ancient Electricians - field work with
trained archaeologists uncovering the long and purposeful
neglect of ancient aboriginal electricians.


Well, as you can see, I've just scratched the surface here but have got to go - I have a government class coming in soon!

Why the South Was Wrong...A Continuing Series

I was perusing the Constitution the other day and found the following places where the states that supposedly seceded from the Union, broke the document that they all approved, either at the Constitutional Convention in 1787 or upon entry into the Union later. I hear so much about Southern honor, but isn't keeping your word, no matter what, a great part of honor? Below, I am sure is just a partial list.

Preamble: A "more perfect union" of the states was achieved by locating ultimate sovereignty in the people as a whole not undone by people of individual states; could only be undone by a convention of the people and still equal representation of the states in the Senate could not be touched.


Article 1:
Sec.1 would not the entire U.S. Code from about 1789 - 1860 (71 yrs) passed by votes of Southern representatives and Senators be undone? Could future laws be passed without quorums which would not be possible without the seceded states?
Sec.2: each state would no longer be represented in Congress; each citizen would no longer be represented; the census could not be properly taken; impeachment could not be carried out. See also sec. 3.6
Sec. 5: How could members from absent states be compelled to attend? How could each house punish disorderly behavior or expel members?
Sec. 6: Senators and Reps from seceding states would not be protected from arrest as they have committed treason.
Sec. 7: 2/3 majority of the House and Senate could not be reached to override presidential vetoes.
Sec. 8: Congress could not fulfill any of its enumerated duties in the seceded states, nor collect taxes there.
Sec.10: Congress could not enforce any of these limitations on the powers of seceded states for the protection of its citizens there. Seceded states are in direct violation of the ban on states entering into alliances or confederations, etc. or engaging in war.
Article II
The president could not enforce the law, which he is bound by oath to do, in the seceding states.
Article III
The judicial powers of the U.S. could not be carried out in seceded states, especially cases relating to original jurisdiction arising out of cases in seceded states, involving the Constitution.
Nor, could they guarantee trial by jury nor protect citizens of seceded states from corruption of blood or forfeiture of future generations for treason.
Article IV:
Sec.1: Contracts of Northern states could not be enforced in the Confederacy.
Sec.2: Northern states could not demand extradition; Southerners could not demand return of fugitive slaves.
Sec. 4: U.S. could not guarantee a republican form of government in Southern states.
Article V:
Southern states could not give consent or dissent to Constitutional amendments in the future.
U.S. could no longer guarantee equal votes by states in Senate; Southern states would no longer be represented in Congress at all.
Article VI:
Southern states would violate every law in the U.S. Code which is superior to all other laws.
Judges in Southern states would no longer be bound by the authority of the U.S.
State officials and representatives of seceding states would violate their oaths to "support the Constitution".
Article VII: Ratification of this constitution cannot be undone - it is a Union and not a confederation - we already tried that.
Amendments:
Undone if no longer supported by enough states?
Congress nor the courts could enforce protection of the people contained specifically in Amendments 1,2,4,9, and 10
Amendment 12: seceding states would be denied the right to be represented in the electoral college during presidential elections.

A Union is very much an organic form of government; once entered into, cannot be undone without destroying the whole.