The Top Twenty -two Reasons Why I'm Glad That My Riding Mower Broke

Yes, it happened again for the 10th spring in a row: my riding mower doesn't work. So....I grabbed the new push mower; mowed our back yard and the entire back of the local dentist's yard and I feel great. And here's "The Top 22 Reasons Why I'm Glad That My Riding Mower Broke:
#22. This change in attitude is just one more positive side-effect of my medication.
#21. Read somewhere that strenuous exercise and breathing in dandelion fuzzies makes your beard grow faster.
#20. Getting in shape for Australia!
#19. Afterwards, can work on conquering the constant temptation to steal my mom's wheelchair when she is asleep.
#18. No longer have to worry about both back tires being equally inflated.
#17. No longer have to slow down for animals and small children, they can all outrun me now.
#16. No longer have to use a trim mower to mow the trim - its all trim.
#15. No longer have to move the trash barrel to mow around it.
#14. Gives Charlotte one more reason to tell her friends, "What dad, mine is still missing in action from the Civil War."
#13. Don't have to get off the mower to keep from flinging little metal cars like shrapnel.
#12. Working on a one-pack ab.
#11. Can legitimately take water breaks.
#10. With that little gas tank you can fill it up more often and smell that really cool, sweet smell of refined hydrocarbons.
#9. Ah, to be in the great outdoors....much longer.
#8. When you are just 1/4 of the way done you can look back on what you have accomplished with great satisfaction.
#7. Haven't felt that kind of burn since I was 19.
#6. No longer have to worry about annoying neighbors asking to borrow your mower.
#5. Gives my students just one more reason to turn to cousin Bubby and say, "Yip, that's my history teacher!"
#4. I can really lay a guilt trip on Noah by saying, "That's ok, I'll just do it myself."
#3. Noah can tell his kids someday, "Yes, children when I was 14 we didn't have a riding mower."
#2. I can tell my grandkids, "Yes, grandchildren when I was 52, we didn't have a riding mower."
#1. I can add "Precision Mowing" to my resume.

Should I Be Worried If My Electrician Doesn't Have A College Degree?

I smelled an unusual odor in the house the other day; not from the dog or the cat or the nasty carpet we have in the kitchen that is the only place in the house that the "5-second rule" on dropped food is not followed. It smelled "electrical". So, with as much confidence that two college degrees in history and secondary education can give, I went into the basement (no "5-second rule" here either) and approached the gray "service panel"; I think that's what they call it. Anyway, there I located the source of the odor - and, there was a sizzling sound as well. I went back upstairs and while eating my breakfast it dawned on me that sizzling and smell could indicate a problem that would not necessarily go away if I ignored it and could lead to consequences that could be catastrophic. I remembered that my neighbor is an electrician and he actually told me once that if I needed anything of that sort to not hesitate to call. I wondered briefly if anything in that sentence excluded a call at 6:15 AM and I couldn't recall anything - nope, it was a blanket anytime promise - ironclad like in the old days when a man's word was his bond. Well, to make a long post short, I called him; he came over; identified the problem; tightened some screws that had previously been attached to a metal piece that was glowing red with heat and said he would check back in a couple of days to be sure that it hadn't worked its way loose again. The charge - nothing! Just the neighborly thing to do. Dodged a bullet. It is one of the singularly great moments in life to have the rest of your day made by 6:45 AM. How often does that happen? Then I began to feel bad. What could I do to reciprocate? Would one of his boys someday need a little bit of help, let's say, with the Civil War? Or, maybe I could rescue his family from a complete misunderstanding of the Founding of our country for which he would say, "I hoped that someday coming over and keeping your house from burning down and saving you hundreds of dollars not having to call an electrician would come in handy!" After all, what's having your house burn down compared to being confused about the development of U.S. foreign policy or the Three Branches of Government. In his defense, before he left he tried to make me feel better by saying that it was a good thing that he came over because he has a box just like mine and he had better check his to make sure it was all tightened down and secure...nice try. From time to time the rest of the day, I reflected on the value of two college degrees in preventing home maintenance disasters and it occurred to me that he was able to save me and my family with two less college degrees than I have and what a wonderful country it is. I also began to think about the modern trend of professionalizing everything to the point that it doesn't seem to matter what one can do but how many certificates and degrees one has. I wondered if they would ever get to the point of requiring electricians to have a bachelor's degree in order to get a certificate and take a long test that would cost $500. What kind of courses might they require in order to fill out 4 years and collect $150 per credit hour? Being an educator, I am justifiably interested in being very sure that even electricians are properly educated with the breadth and depth necessary to compete in the global economy. So, just for fun (I hope) I came up with a few courses to broaden the knowledge base of my electrician-neighbor beyond merely being able to fix my electrical problem...

The Theology of Natural Occurring Electrical Phenomenon

The History of Man's Relationship to Electricity - Beyond
Franklin and "The Kite"

Electrical Preparedness (in this course another electrician
will check to be sure that you have all the proper tools and
you will be trained to spot any deficiencies in the toolboxes
of your colleagues.) Course required but not for credit.

How to Handle the Difficult Customer (This course includes
very practical procedures to follow in the event of dog or
cat annoyance - taught by a faculty member who has read
and studied a great deal about dogs and cats and has worked
out 135 steps to follow with handy pocket-size fold-out guide to
carry with you anywhere.)

Gender and Race Issues in the Electrical Profession - How far
we have come yet how far we have to go!

Being a Green Electrician - includes a lab

The Affective Electrician - Students will discuss thoroughly
the characteristics of the "perfect electrician" - a very popular
course.

Cross-cultural Electrical Careers - Breaking the Barriers of
Being Simply a Western Electrician

Theoretical Similarities Among the Trades - course experience
will allow electricians, plumbers, mechanics, carpenters, and roofers
to share about one another's careers for a few hours and develop
empathetic responses to the travails of other tradeswomen (or
men).

Appreciation for the Ancient Electricians - field work with
trained archaeologists uncovering the long and purposeful
neglect of ancient aboriginal electricians.


Well, as you can see, I've just scratched the surface here but have got to go - I have a government class coming in soon!

Why the South Was Wrong...A Continuing Series

I was perusing the Constitution the other day and found the following places where the states that supposedly seceded from the Union, broke the document that they all approved, either at the Constitutional Convention in 1787 or upon entry into the Union later. I hear so much about Southern honor, but isn't keeping your word, no matter what, a great part of honor? Below, I am sure is just a partial list.

Preamble: A "more perfect union" of the states was achieved by locating ultimate sovereignty in the people as a whole not undone by people of individual states; could only be undone by a convention of the people and still equal representation of the states in the Senate could not be touched.


Article 1:
Sec.1 would not the entire U.S. Code from about 1789 - 1860 (71 yrs) passed by votes of Southern representatives and Senators be undone? Could future laws be passed without quorums which would not be possible without the seceded states?
Sec.2: each state would no longer be represented in Congress; each citizen would no longer be represented; the census could not be properly taken; impeachment could not be carried out. See also sec. 3.6
Sec. 5: How could members from absent states be compelled to attend? How could each house punish disorderly behavior or expel members?
Sec. 6: Senators and Reps from seceding states would not be protected from arrest as they have committed treason.
Sec. 7: 2/3 majority of the House and Senate could not be reached to override presidential vetoes.
Sec. 8: Congress could not fulfill any of its enumerated duties in the seceded states, nor collect taxes there.
Sec.10: Congress could not enforce any of these limitations on the powers of seceded states for the protection of its citizens there. Seceded states are in direct violation of the ban on states entering into alliances or confederations, etc. or engaging in war.
Article II
The president could not enforce the law, which he is bound by oath to do, in the seceding states.
Article III
The judicial powers of the U.S. could not be carried out in seceded states, especially cases relating to original jurisdiction arising out of cases in seceded states, involving the Constitution.
Nor, could they guarantee trial by jury nor protect citizens of seceded states from corruption of blood or forfeiture of future generations for treason.
Article IV:
Sec.1: Contracts of Northern states could not be enforced in the Confederacy.
Sec.2: Northern states could not demand extradition; Southerners could not demand return of fugitive slaves.
Sec. 4: U.S. could not guarantee a republican form of government in Southern states.
Article V:
Southern states could not give consent or dissent to Constitutional amendments in the future.
U.S. could no longer guarantee equal votes by states in Senate; Southern states would no longer be represented in Congress at all.
Article VI:
Southern states would violate every law in the U.S. Code which is superior to all other laws.
Judges in Southern states would no longer be bound by the authority of the U.S.
State officials and representatives of seceding states would violate their oaths to "support the Constitution".
Article VII: Ratification of this constitution cannot be undone - it is a Union and not a confederation - we already tried that.
Amendments:
Undone if no longer supported by enough states?
Congress nor the courts could enforce protection of the people contained specifically in Amendments 1,2,4,9, and 10
Amendment 12: seceding states would be denied the right to be represented in the electoral college during presidential elections.

A Union is very much an organic form of government; once entered into, cannot be undone without destroying the whole.

Is This the Future?

Redmond, Wash., - In direct response to accusations made by the Dept. of Justice, the Microsoft Corporation announced today that it will be acquiring the Federal Government of the United States for an undisclosed sum. "Its actually a logical extension of our planned growth", said Microsoft chairman Bill Gates. "It really is going to be a positive arrangement for everyone."
Microsoft representatives held a briefing in the Oval Office of the White House with U.S. President _____ and assured members of the press that changes will be "minimal". The United States will be managed as a wholly owned division of Microsoft.
An initial public offering is planned for July of next year, and the Federal Government is expected to be profitable by 2012 according to Microsoft president Steve Ballmer
In a related announcement, Pres. _____ stated that he had "willingly and enthusiastically" accepted a position as a vice-president with Microsoft, and will continue to manage the United States Government, reporting directly to Bill Gates. When asked how it felt to give up the mantle of executive authority to Gates, ______ smiled and referred to it as "a relief". He went on to say that Gates has a proven track record and that U.S. citizens should offer Gates their full support and confidence. ______ will be reportedly earning several times the $200,000 annually he has earned as U.S. President, in his new role at Microsoft.
Gates dismissed a suggestion that the U.S. Capitol be moved to Redmond as "silly" though he did say that he would make executive decisions for the U.S. Government from his existing office at Microsoft headquarters. Gates went on to say that the House and Senate would "of course" be abolished. "Microsoft isn't a democracy", he observed, "and look how well we're doing." When asked if the rumored attendant acquisition of Canada was proceeding, Gates said, "We don't deny that discussions are taking place." Microsoft representatives closed the conference by stating that United States citizens will be able to expect lower taxes, increases in government services and discounts on all Microsoft products.

About Microsoft: Founded in 1978, Microsoft (NASDAQ MSFT) is the worldwide leader in software for personal computers and democratic government. The company offers a wide range of products and services for public, business and personal use, each designed with the mission of making it easier and more enjoyable for people to take advantage of the full power of personal computing and free society every day.

About the United States: Founded in 1789, the United States of America is the most successful nation in the history of the world, and has been a beacon of democracy and opportunity for over 200 years. Headquartered in Washington, D.C., the United States is a wholly owned subsidiary of Microsoft Corporation.
- The Lexus and the Olive Tree, by Thomas Friedman

The Water Metaphor Challenge

Have you noticed how many times in your reading that a metaphor pops up using water in some sort of way? Let's make this a place to collect and share these as we find them. We'll leave them in the comments section. Here are the rules:
1. No fair going to a website on water metaphors. I don't personally know of any but I'm sure they are out there.
2. After you quote the metaphor, give the source.
3. Be sure to tell who you are.

Happy hunting!

In Praise of Old Books

I was just thinking the other day how much I love old books. How at the library, I will choose the old binding over the new one. How I even like to discard the colorful dust jackets of new books so that they look older on my shelf.
But, what I really like is to go to an old book shop and pick up an old book. I love the musty smell and the uneven pages at the edge. Its a bit like an archaeological dig. You open the cover, - ah, the cover; dented, scratched, stained, and worn. On the fly leaves and throughout there often are notes or marks or underlinings like blazes on trees on a hiking trail that say, "Stop here" or "This is really important" or "This really affected me".
Sometimes there is the name of the previous owner who may have been dead for a hundred years. Sometimes I like to imagine who bought this book new and under what circumstances. Was it a gift? Was it on a whim? Was it treasured for years or months before there was finally enough money to purchase it?
Sometime I like to buy an old book that I know nothing about- not a classic - those are reprinted endlessly in new additions. I mean, old books long out of print for some reason. Perhaps it fell out of style or maybe it wasn't considered that good to begin with. When you buy a book like this, you take a chance, like while traveling, eating at a local diner instead of the fast-food chain restaurant. Sure, you might get a bad one, but the atmosphere is unique, the menu varied, and often really good or it wouldn't still be there. An old book can be like that. You might not get very far before you realize why its no longer in print. Or, like a miner, you may have uncovered a whole new vein of literature that leads to more works by that author or related topics that could take years to mine. These can lead to one to new and wonderful tunnels and chambers and passages that may add new facets to your world view.
Old books are hard work. The vocabulary is challenging, the syntax archaic, the metaphors unfamiliar - although I bet you will come across at least one that has to do with water. But I have found that even the effort here rewards me with a smile at an unusual or quaint turn of phrase. The hard work, the having to read a paragraph once again, just adds to the experience and reminds me that much that is worthwhile takes effort.
Another thing: linger over the author's name. Who was he? There may be an entire website of devotees to him that you never realized. Was this the first or the last of a long series of works that represents a lifetime of labor? Or, was this his only child - his only addition to the stock of
Western literature and knowledge, long-forgotten but still added to the aggregate of our civilization. This is the part where "other works by..." comes in. Some time here will reveal the narrowness or breadth of his interests and expertise.
And, don't read the first chapter before looking over the other clues: the dedication (who was D.F.W.?), the acknowledgments (his favorite people), the preface and introduction (what he really wants you to learn from the book) and where he wrote it and when (Providence, 1877). I even think its pretty cool that at the very end they sometimes take the trouble to tell you what kind of font it was printed in. Maybe its still on the little drop-down menu on Word and you can share a font with someone long-gone. Even the table of contents and index can yield some clues though by now most of the nuggets have been found.
Now its time to get at the heart (or mind) of the matter. For now its time to speak his words into your mind; to give the sounds, that have lay dormant for decades, new life. This person from whatever time or place is revived and in a sense you can begin the conversation anew. I'm sure that he never tires of explaining himself one more time. You can even argue or agree in the margins. Imagine how interesting a book becomes as several readers leave their comments for the next - a conversation that stretches over time and makes every volume unique. I guess John Adams filled his books with marginal notes and discussions that have been a gold mine for scholars. I mark up new books because someday they will be old and I want to be the one who starts the conversation - its my priviledge since I bought it first. What my children someday will learn about me - but first they will have to read my books - page by page, as they will never know where a revealing comment might pop up. And, I haven't even mentioned The Greatest Old Book - an old Bible: a personal record of the joys and tests of a pilgrimmage of faith in the smudges, underlinings, dates, and notes on the pages.
Its not hard to love new books. They are colorful and exciting and desired for their content ahead of time. But, an old, musty volume is a chest filled with the minds and hearts and experiences of authors long-gone and ideas long-forgotten just waiting to be revived to interact with new minds in whatever time.

Why We Will Always Have the Poor With Us

Jesus makes this extraordinary statement in Matthew 26:11: "The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me." But, why is poverty inevitable? Is it because it is just one of those consequences of the Fall? Absolutely. But what consequence? Is it the scarcity of resources? Certainly that is part of it: "Cursed is the ground because of you..It will produce thorns and thistles for you...(Genesis 3:17,18). Therefore, some fail as they till because nature in its fallen state does not abundantly give back in the measure that we till. But, what about those that do not even till or have never tilled? No, that can't be all. The ground may be cursed, but in His mercy, He has allowed men to develop science and apply it to all areas of human endeavor so that there is great and growing abundance not only in the U.S. but in an increasing area of the world. He has given us the ability to apply our intelligence in an orderly universe so that much of the world has been transformed into a garden and at least that part of the Fall, along with medicine and weaponry that allows the intelligent but physically weak to defend life, liberty, and property. Also, part of God's common grace is free-market capitalism where there are great and powerful incentives to work and create and toil with a reasonable assurance of profit above mere subsistence. Ah, but here you can hear the rattling of the long-dead corpse of Marxism gathering up its bones for one last roar, like the frightful revisiting of dead philosophies past: "Greeeeeed, Greeeeeed and the unnnnnnnequal distribution of those resources!" I suppose that's part of it in a shrinking part of the world - shrinking because of the gracious overthrow of Marxist ignorance and greed in the 1990s. Part of God's common grace has been its institutional defeat (though not in academia) and the release of millions to the free-market of which I just spoke. But this does not explain the continued and increasing violence, hopelessness, and brutishness of people surrounded by material abundance especially in the West where the very air of opportunity has been breathed by generations.
No, there must be a deeper cause and I have just finished a book that supplies the answer: Life at the Bottom: The Worldview That Makes The Underclass, by Theodore Dalrymple. Did you catch the key word in the subtitle: worldview? This is what makes this book not just another book about the poor. The author has been a psychologist and criminologist among the British underclass for over twenty years. He supplies the missing piece. The underclass are under because they have bought into a huge lie created in academia and perpetuated by what he calls the professional redeemer industry. Yes, ideas have consequences (just ask Eve) and as one thinks, he will do. The great consequence of the Fall is not the uneven distribution of resources but the unequal distribution of truth. The great lie is that men are not men but bags of chemicals that like their amoebic cousins, can only react to environmental stimuli. They are poor and oppressed not by the vagaries of capitalism or lack of compassion, but by the paralyzing lies that there is nothing they can do to escape violence and poverty. In short, Dalrymple says that they do not know how to live. Its bad philosophy on parade in the ghettos of a thousand cities and in the tragedies of millions of lives. And the lie that under girds that lie is that all lives are of equal quality. There is no good life; there is no good, healthy culture; there is no poisonous ideas or culture; there is no good.
The mistake among the chattering classes is to assume that since crime appears more among the poor, poverty must be the cause. But, perhaps wrong ideas cause crime and crime causes poverty. Here are a few other offerings from the book:
- It is a mistake to suppose that all men want to be free; freedom entails responsibility.
- 7 (at least) features of the underclass world view:
1. a dishonest fatalism
2. victim psychology
3. contempt for authority because they are the ones who dole out consequences to bad thinking.
4. denial of guilt
5. claim of inability to understand their own motives or actions
6. societal pardon for past crimes and exemption from future crimes
7. boredom because they have no interests beyond momentary excitement
8. addiction (purposeful) to crises and drama. This is their entertainment
9. attraction (purposeful) to violent and abusive relationships
10. tribal mentality: the success of one is a reproach to all
11. desire for triumph without merit
12. low culture is more genuine than refined culture
13. need for constant excitement and instant gratification
- the lessening of restraints increases, not decreases crime
- if there was more justice in the world, there would be more not fewer prisoners
- "they are bored because they have never applied their intelligence... intelligence is a distinct disadvantage if it is not used: it bites back."

Paul says in Colossians 2:8, "See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." It is wrong thinking that holds captive. The good news is that thinking can be changed in the realm of common grace and through Christ there is a great and powerful alternative.